'I want to be there for all the people'

'That is a misassumption of feminism...'

'So what is feminism exactly?'

'Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes.This includes seeking to establish educational and professional opportunities for women that are equal to those for men.

Feminist movements have campaigned and continue to campaign for women's rights, including the right to vote, to hold public office, to work, to earn fair wages or equal pay, to own property, to receive education, to enter contracts, to have equal rights within marriage, and to have maternity leave. Feminists have also worked to ensure access to legal abortions and social integration, and to protect women and girls from rape, sexual harassment, and domestic violence. Changes in dress and acceptable physical activity have often been part of feminist movements.

Some scholars consider feminist campaigns to be a main force behind major historical societal changes for women's rights, particularly in the West, where they are near-universally credited with achieving women's suffrage, gender neutrality in English, reproductive rights for women (including access to contraceptives and abortion), and the right to enter into contracts and own property. Although feminist advocacy is, and has been, mainly focused on women's rights, some feminists, including bell hooks, argue for the inclusion of men's liberation within its aims because they believe that men are also harmed by traditional gender roles. Feminist theory, which emerged from feminist movements, aims to understand the nature of gender inequality by examining women's social roles and lived experience; it has developed theories in a variety of disciplines in order to respond to issues concerning gender.

Numerous feminist movements and ideologies have developed over the years and represent different viewpoints and aims. Some forms of feminism have been criticized for taking into account only white, middle class, and college-educated perspectives. This criticism led to the creation of ethnically specific or multicultural forms of feminism, including black feminism and intersectional feminism.(Wikipedia)

But that is not it...'

'But what is my feminism? How can I relate to such a big movement? And is it still relevant? Aren't they all nagging old-fashioned women?'

'Maybe read 'Dolly Mythes' by Linda Duits.. That really helped me understand the history (herstory), the present and the future. Why it is still necessary and what your own role could be. Beside that maybe you should read other stuff to explore why you are interested in feminism? Try reading about the female sexuality. Maybe start with Michel Foucault so you have a better knowledge of the history of sexuality'

'This changed my opinion quite a bit but I'm not sure if I would call myself a feminist now... I'm not even sure where I am right now in this subject.. It is so big... What should I do?'

Dear self,

How are you doing? I hope you’re doing well. Life can sometimes be very hard but you have done a good job trying to figure it out.
It is okay if you are not in the place where you are “supposed” to be. You’re still young and capable to learn and teach. I know that talking, about the ability to learn and accepting that you don’t understand or are not quite there yet, can be very hard. But I’m proud of you for starting your search to feminism. It has been some very difficult first steps where it wasn’t a straight line, it went up and down. Sometimes it must have felt like you didn’t want to do it anymore because ripping something like this open can hurt very much. Although I’m ashamed that you haven’t been open for this word before, I do understand because of the negative reactions it has. Even on your mom it didn’t go very well… When she didn’t understand you I could feel your pain. The pain of losing a small blind-spot. The blind spot of your mother being the all knowing person that is an example for you. Even though she still is I’m proud of you following your own path instead of going with the easy way of looking away of the problems within our society. A society that you’re part of but hopefully will also change. Being a white, educated, cis-gender, heterosexual woman you have privileges and non-privileges which you can use in a good way. Try to be aware of who you are in every surrounding. This will make you a better person for everyone, including yourself. Read everything that you find interesting so you can speak your mind more easily about stuff you’re curious about. So that next time you’re talking with your mother you can discuss things better. But don’t forget that every (small) conversation has its ability to grow bigger and better. By talking to your close ones you create something that will change people. Have you noticed that you have changed? You have. You have improved. And I’m glad that you did. Even when you feel like you aren’t at the spot you want to be, you have grown. It doesn’t matter if you still won’t take on the word ‘feminist’ because of the negative reaction but be aware of this. Be aware of how you act and what your values are. Don’t forget the others around you and involve them! Talking and connecting with others is very important to learn. Work hard for what you believe and I know you have the ability to make yourself proud.

So breathe, take a minute, reevaluate, and grow. Good luck!

Love,
Me

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